Wonderful Friday night

A typical Friday night, last night was. For awhile. Dinner at Casa Vega and then off to some bar whose name I can't remember. Al, Chris, J.P., and me. We were sitting at a table in this patio bar behind the Oyster House, talking about nothing important. Then we started talking about Michael O'Donoghue, the Saturday Night Live writer who died of a huge brain anuerysm, when two guys come running in the place.

With ski masks on.

And guns pointed at us all.

"Get on the fucking ground!!! Get on the fucking ground!!! Don't fucking look at me!!! Put all your fucking money on the tables!!!

So, as the man with the foul mouth and the gun pointed at me requested, I, along with everyone else in the place, hit the ground. I reached into my pocket and put a single ($1) and a receipt on the table. Then I tossed my cell phone and wallet in a corner. I heard the bartender trying to calm the robbers down, because they were really scattered and frantic and yelling and stuff. Then I heard, just to my right, Chris' voice, whispering ever-so-slightly:

"So then what happened to Michael O'Donoghue?"

Then suddenly the assholes in the ski masks and the guns ran off. After a few moments of silence, everyone slowly got up, and then a police helicoptor was flying overhead, spotlight shining down on us. The police showed up and I gave them a statement. Then we went to Ralph's to buy more beer.

This is the second time I've been robbed at gunpoint. The first time, I was mugged outside the apartment I used to live in. With a gun stuck at my chest. On my birthday. As I was talking to my friend Brian on my cell phone. That night the guy took my new cell phone and three dollars. (I had to call Brian back. He asked if I lost my reception. I said kind of. Then I explained the story and Brian said Happy Birthday.)

So as the victim in two armed robberies, I've lost a grand total of $4 and a cell phone. Meanwhile, the other day I was delivering a gift for my boss to her friend who recently got married. I was coming from cashing a petty cash check. So there I was, walking down Hollywood Blvd. with $814 in my pocket and a large, unspecified gift from Tiffany's in all it's expensive, bright blue bag glory.

Now I can't figure out if I have incredible bad luck, or incredible good luck.