Law & Order: Jerry Orbach Unit

I know, I know. The second post about Jerry Orbach. Here's my pitch for the spin-off series:

Jerry Orbach has retired from the force. He becomes a crotchety old man who constantly complains about the neighborhood kids. He solves crimes around the house like "who ate the last piece of pie" and "why isn't the remote on channel 2?" As the series progresses, he falls further and further into an Alzheimer's-induced haze of constant befuddlement. He constantly calls 911 to report various incidents, but it turns out the man who came at him with knives and guns was just the mailbox. In the series-finale, it's a very special Law & Order: Jerry Orbach Unit they bring back Angie Harmon, Chris Noth, Michael Moriarty, Paul Sorvino, Jill Hennessey, et al for an intervention-type scene where they commit Jerry Orbach to an old folks home.

As the nurses drag him away, we fade to black and after a beat comes the final bum-BUM!

Then we air a 2-hour reality special: "Jerry Orbach and L&O: a Retrospective." It shows highlights of his 53-year run on the show and at the very end, producer Dick Wolf comes out to congratulate Jerry on his service and send him off to retirement.

Except then Dick Wolf pulls out a pistol and shoots Jerry Orbach in the face and says, in a Jerry Orbach voice, "Retirement treating you well?" in a moment dripping with delicious irony on a MichaelO'Donoghue/Bill Hicks/Lenny Bruce-type level.