Poker Recap

Shockingly, I lost. And shockingly-minus-sarcasm, I wasn't the first one out. I was second.

But here's the thing. After trying to play my best, and losing, I then became a baby and tried to lose. And I started winning. Apparently I have absolutely no understanding of poker, because I was honest-to-God trying my hardest to lose (without being too much a sore loser and go all-in with a 10-high) and I won a few hands. This saved me from being the first to lose. And this is how it happens each time I play. I have a 25% chance to get the flush on the river? Oops, nope. Sorry! But some other jerk chasing a flush gets a full house on the turn and the river. Well fuck me.

I didn't get a single pair in the hole. Only 5 times did I get two face cards in the hole, and they were followed by a crappy flop which gave other players hands like three 6's or a 2-3-4-5-6 straight. Oh, that two-pair with a King kicker I had? Well, I lost to the exact same two-pair with AN ACE KICKER. Are you kidding me? Blow me, poker. Blow me Phil Gordon, Phil Helmuth, and Chris Moneymaker. Suck it Craig Raymer. I fucking hate poker.