The World if Tom Brady Was In Charge

Marty Schottenheimer, coach of the San Diego Chargers, steps up to the podium for his post-game press conference:

Q: Marty, how did you think your team played?
Marty: Obviously we played well. On offense we did most of the things we set out to do, and our defense reacted well to their gameplan.
Q: Did you notice anything on film that allowed you to do so well against the Patriots when no one else could?
Marty: The who?
Q: The Patriots.
Marty: I don't know what that is. Next question.
Q: You seemed to get a lot of pressure on Brady and at the same time take Dillon out of the game.
Marty: I can't comment on it. I know our defenders played well.
Q: Um, How did you think Drew Brees played?
Marty: Drew played a great game for us. He kept the mistakes to a minimum and made some strong throws. He made a few audible calls that worked out well. I thought it was an efficient day, a strong day.
Q: What about the interception he threw. It looked like Eugene Wilson just read his eyes.
Marty: I don't know who that is, but the interception was a bad throw.
Q: Eugene Wilson. The defensive back for the Patriots?
Marty: Yeah, I don't know.
Q: What did Coach Belichek say to you after the game?
Marty: I don't know who that is.
Q: The Patriot's coach? The guys who won all those Super Bowls?
Marty: All I know is Tampa Bay won it in 2003. I don't know anything about 2002, 2004, or 2005.