Things You Might Not Know About Me

I got an email from someone who did this. So I thought I'd do one here. A quick and dirty list:

1) I went to an all-boys Catholic high school.
2) NBA legend Bill Walton once made fun of me because I look young. This was while I was giving him a ride in a golf cart.
3) I lived in London for 5 months.
4) My very first day in London, my lung collapsed.
5) I love old '70s punk, but "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys is my favorite song.
6) I once played Jack from "Jack and Jill" in a play (Kindergarten). I didn't even need a stunt double for my big scene.
7) I wrote a 10-page essay about riding two full "circumnavigations" on the Circle Line in the London Underground, and this essay was a total rip-off of David Foster Wallace.
8) Despite it being so derivative, it's my favorite thing I've ever written.
9) I once scored 4 goals in a soccer game which my team won 4-0.
10) I was accepted into Notre Dame, but I couldn't afford to go there, despite getting a partial scholarship.
11) I cried when my father told me it was too expensive.
12) My first, and only, pet was a cat named Jester.
13) I am my cousin Brendan's godfather.
14) The only two assigned books I didn't read in high school English were The Scarlet Letter and Heart of Darkness.
15) My favorite book from high school was The Great Gatsby
16) I've never shot a gun.
17) My mother has footage of me reciting the "Pledge of Allegience" when I was two. Though in that rendition, I "pedge a egence to a fag of united america."
18) I have never, ever told a girl I loved her. Though I have loved one girl.
19) I am now glad I didn't go to Notre Dame.
20) I have a relative who plays banjo with Boz Scaggs.
21) I played Joey in a NKOTB spoof that I co-wrote (5th grade)
22) It worries me that I have never, ever told a girl I loved her.
23) I had a Cabbage Patch Kid. His name was Sid Dwight.
24) I spent a homeless night sleeping on a bench underneath the Eiffel Tower. While it was raining.
25) Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was the very first cassette I owned.
26) Please Hammer, Don't Hurt'em was the very first CD I owned.
27) Apparently I was cooler in 2nd grade than 5th grade.
28) I've never been in a real fight.
29) I used to carry an enemies list in my wallet.
30) I desperately want to be on someone else's enemies list.
31) I'll choose Guinness every time.
32) I have an irrational fear of sharks (i.e. I won't go in pools because of them. Pools!)
33) Young Guns II was the first PG-13 movie I saw in the theater.
34) Only once did I run the mile competatively. I finished in 2nd place; my time was 5 minutes and just-barely-under 6 seconds.
35) I think Barbara Bush is wayyyy hotter than Jenna Bush.
36) I've sprained my right ankle twice, strained my right knee ligaments, and gotten a concussion playing soccer.
37) I've never ever been injured playing hockey.
38) Once in college I was woken up at 4:45am to help finish shooting and editing a video project by now-Denver Bronco fullback Kyle Johnson.
39) I almost drove a Porsche through a wall.
40) I've known my best friend since 2nd grade.
41) I've known my best female friend since freshman year of college.
42) I look exactly like my dad.
43) I have a big mouth.
44) Literally and figuratively.
45) Jokes I've written have been on television sitcoms.
46) I hate Las Vegas.
47) I've seen 21 of the 30 NHL teams (counting the Hurricanes only once despite seeing them as both the Hurricanes and the Whalers. It's also 23 of 30 teams if you count seeing the Coyotes and Avalanche when they were still the Jets and the Nordiques).
48) I want to win an Olympic medal.
49) I think I can qualify in curling.
50) I have no idea if the USA has a curling team.
51) I'm a Sagittarius
52) I've never been to an NBA game.
53) I used to have a mohawk.
54) LaVar Arrington once told me, "Digging the hair, brother" re: the mohawk. Then we dapped knuckles.
55) I curse a lot.
56) I once read for a casting director for a role in a pilot.
57) Jennifer Garner apologized to me when her dog pooped in front of me.
58) I told her I'm sorry she had to clean it up, and she laughed.
59) I also made Rachel Hunter laugh once.
60) Neither witticism led to a date.
61) I think Wilco's Being There is by far their best album, and generally one of the most underrated albums ever.
62) I used to be a good swing dancer
63) I have gone on dates with people from: Ireland, England, Russia, Jordan, India, Canada. Oh, and the US.
64) The hardest job I ever had was doing roofing on commercial buildings. To this day it keeps me humble.
65) I know someone who had the first turn in Trivial Pursuit, and went on to win the game on that same first turn.
66) When I was 5 I had tubes put in my ears. I still don't have any idea what that was all about.
67) I love Vanilla Coke in a can.
68) In my one season of organized baseball, I didn't get any hits.
69) I walked a lot, though, and stole a lot of bases.
70) My friend Brett, and I had a line of comic books we drew and wrote in his garage when we were kids.
71) I've been in the honor guard at a Confederate Civil War re-enactment Jewish wedding. (Though I just wrote about this, so maybe you knew).
72) Whenever I drive over bridges I keep my hand on the door handle, ready to open it on a moments-notice should the bridge collapse and the car fall into the water.
73) I swear to God I am not making that up.
74) I would describe the earthquakes I've been in as "fun."
75) The last time I cried was upon hearing the news of Brett's father's death. That was a few years ago.
76) I like The Cutting Edge way too much.
77) I have a non-homosexual crush on John Cusack.
78) I don't really like food, but I love me a mashed potato.
79) I still know the code to unlimited lives in Contra.
80) I sometimes have self-confidence issues, but I think so highly of my handful of close friends that I figure they wouldn't be friends with me if I wasn't okay, so then I'm fine with myself. Kind of the opposite of that Groucho Marx joke.
81) I could try a little harder with this blog.
82) My brother has Downs Syndrome.
83) He's a funny dude.
84) I am a lifelong Baltimore Orioles fan because when I was little I thought they were the Baltomore Oreos. And I thought a baseball team named after a delicious cookie was fantastically awesome.
85) I am agnostic (which does NOT mean I believe in God but not a religion; it means I don't think we can ever know for certain about God's existence either way).
86) Having said that, I think about religion and God a lot. Daily.
87) Every time I fly I am seriously and completely convinced I am going to die.
88) I am not scared of flying, however, because I really have no other choice if I want to go home or visit friends. It's something I inevitably have to do. So I guess this means I'm a fatalist?
89) When my brother started school I used to have graphically violent dreams of doing great physical harm to kids who made fun of him. We're talking crazy psycho violent here. Horrendous. Scary. They lasted for a few years.
90) I am aware the last three facts make me seem slightly insane.
91) I'd like to have at least 2 kids. No more than 3.
92) My knees are so messed up from soccer that I can tell when it's going to rain because they ache.
93) I've been robbed at gunpoint twice.
94) I cracked a joke during on of the robberies and the guy didn't even laugh. Asshole.
95) When I get nervous I don't eat. I'm nervous a lot. I think this is why I can't gain weight. And I'm not ridiculously thin, but still:
96) The whole weight thing really fucks with my head. A lot more than I tend to let on.
97) One morning after a long night of partying, I woke up and couldn't use my legs. I just fell to the floor. Eventually they worked again.
98) I have never ever cheated on anyone. Physically, at least. I've been in a mindset and had conversations that, had my significant other known about, would have caused some serious fucking problems.
99) I am 5'11" amd really pissed off I didn't get that extra inch.
100) There is some way more interesting stuff I left off because a lot of my friends read this blog. And there's no way I'm letting them know some of it.