Malcolm McLaren Didn't Forget His Dolls

In an IM conversation with my sister, I was informed that I had a doll when I was young. I have no recollection of this at all -- and I'm not just saying that because I'm scared to admit it. I find this information to be highly entertaining myself, but I really have no memory of this doll of mine. I do remember my imaginary friend "It" who looked exactly like Lowly Worm from the Richard Scarry books, and I know that my Cabbage Patch Kid was named Sid Dwight, but nothing about this other doll. According to my sister, my doll was named Sarah. She was one of those dolls whose eyes closed when you laied her on her back, and she was tiny and had a pink night gown. My sister had a doll named Ellie that was a little bit bigger. And cleaner. My sister kept pointing that fact out in our IM conversation, as if I was arguing the point. Sarah was filthy dirty. Actually, my sister claims Sarah was "like Ellie's emaciated little dirty sister. Definitely dity. No substance. Nothing to hold. Nothing to make you feel safe at night. (pause) We made fun of you."

Ever since my "I'm in high school, you're in grade school" and subsequent "I'm in college, you're in high school" lording over my sister ended when we both became fellow twenty-something college grads, my perch on the family's Throne of Coolness seems incredibly precarious.

**** ADDENDUM **** I just found out the "we" in "We always made fun of you was not my sister and her friend, but my sister and my mom!!! My mom!!! E tu, Mama?

SISTER: Remember Kevin's doll?
MOM: Which one? Hahahahaha.

Traiters and turncoats! All of them!!!